How do I protect my child from grooming?

This is a question we receive often from parents of children and teenagers in South East London. With the rise of social media, and the increased isolation of young people post-Covid, we have seen how gangs and bad actors can coerce and groom vulnerable young people into gangs, inappropriate relationships, and other dangerous situations.

The good news is that there are ways through. In this blog, we take a look at how parents and guardians can work with their children to keep them safe from grooming, and give them the tools they need to thrive.

Create open conversations

The first and most important way to protect your child from grooming is to create open dialogue with them. Young people who are vulnerable and isolated can find it hard to talk about how they feel, which makes them more exposed to criminals who take advantage of that loneliness to make them feel heard.

Making sure your child knows they can speak to you freely and without judgement will help them feel less isolated, and like they can come to you if things get overwhelming. Not only does this allow you to have a clearer picture of what’s going on in their lives, but it also makes them less vulnerable to grooming by untrustworthy adults.

Sometimes, your child won’t want to open up right away. While this can feel frustrating, it’s important to remain calm and patient while they work through their feelings, so that they know you’re there when the time is right. Some grown-ups find that it helps to talk about their own feelings, and what’s been bothering them, to help their child see that opening up is safe and has no negative consequences. Other adults like to keep up with the trends online so that they can engage when they see their child using their phone.

Redirect their attention

In many cases, children spending time on the street or in a park is as a result of boredom. Especially during school holidays, children who have no outlet for their energy can find themselves drawn into what is considered ‘cool’ or where older students hang out. Similarly, children who don’t want to be at home go to the easiest spot without supervision, which is often a park or street corner. This makes it easier for criminals to groom and exploit them, especially when they present themselves as harmless older teens.

By redirecting their attention into a supervised activity, you can take them out of situations where they may be groomed and into environments where they are around children their own age. This isn’t always a guaranteed solution, which is why it’s important to sign up to an activity where staff are safeguarding trained and youth mental health trained. This way, you can have an open conversation with staff about your concerns and feel confident that your child is being supported while they take part.

Find screen-free time

Many cases of grooming happen online, with criminals contacting children and teenagers over Snapchat or TikTok. This makes it harder to monitor grooming, and also makes your child more likely to want to hide their phone or not engage when you talk about it. In some cases, removing the child’s phone can cause them to feel even more alone and angry, and retreat even further.

Signing them up for an activity that is screen-free can be a workaround, as your child will be surrounded by enough stimulation and activity that means while they might still feel frustrated, they are at least distracted from the absence of their phone for periods of the day.

Some children also start to find it a relief. The pressure of being connected and needing to reply can make them feel anxious, especially as criminals start to exert pressure to ensure they don’t slip away. Being in a space where phones aren’t allowed as a rule can help them feel freer and more relaxed.

Find other ways for them to express themselves

A lot of support that exists for children at risk of exploitation requires them to talk about their feelings. Not only do some children not feel comfortable with this, but some can also struggle to translate their emotions into words. In these cases, it can help to place them in an environment where they have alternative ways to express their feelings.

Creative activities such as performing arts classes can encourage young people to channel their feelings into their character, and give them a new way to process emotions. Acting also teaches empathy, as students have to understand why their character felt or acted a certain way. This can help bring them out of their shell and understand who around them has their best interests at heart.

An activity such as performing arts classes also gives children more casual settings in which to communicate their feelings. Sometimes, children feel as though they can confide in a friend. Often, the trusted adults on site feel easier to speak to as they are still grown-ups but feel less directly involved in the rest of their lives. In a supported activity setting, the site staff will handle any disclosures made in accordance with proper safeguarding procedure, including informing parents and guardians.

Montage Theatre Arts is a performing arts charity providing classes and holiday courses for children aged 3-15 in Lewisham. With free and reduced-rate places available, our classes are affordable and accessible to all. Our site staff is safeguarding and mental health trained, and we work closely with parents and guardians to ensure that every child is given the tools they need to thrive. If you are worried about a child being groomed or exploited, we encourage you to email us at admin@montagetheatre.com, and we’ll work with you to see if Montage is the right fit for your child.